Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Day 8: PM - I've always been a storm

Over these last three months I have looked for meaning in a lot of places. Mostly because the one person who could give me answers turned his back and ran away. I am someone who runs towards the truth, knowing that it sets my soul free. At times, I am probably too honest but no truth has ever hurt me as much as lies and deceit have; the wound I have from these things is wide and deep.

In my search for meaning I have read some of the works of a 13th century Persian poet/theologian/mystic and one thing in particular has stuck with me over these last few days:

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

One of my beautiful friends who has been there every damn day for me over this time told me something similar when I called her today. She told me to let go of my search for truth and answers because it only keeps me connected to someone who is so busy running from himself that he doesn't really exist anymore. She told me to let this shadow just fade away so that infinite happiness can come pouring in.

I thought on this and then decided to take the advice of this very wise woman. Letting go doesn't mean that what happened is ok, it just means that my future is worth more. I still value integrity and truth above most things but I am going to stop seeking them in a place where these things have not lived for a very long time. At the end of this day I can sleep soundly, my conscience clear and my soul intact. That is worth more than all the vindication in the world. And already the happiness and light have started pouring in.

L x

Mental state - grateful, at peace
Physical state - strong

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