Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Day 22: of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

I woke up thinking about food today - not a good sign. After I had my tonic shot and berry cocktail I decided to jump straight into distracting myself by doing a 30 minute yoga class from my new yoga app. It was a flexibility lesson so was great for opening up my hips and stretching my quads and hamstrings.

I finished the session completely blissed out and not like I had overdone it energy-wise. That feeling lasted until my lunch time cocktail, after which I took a small nap (man I really love napping!). Since waking up from that nap, all I have done is torture myself with thoughts of food. It's not that I am hungry or my blood sugar is low - I just still miss chewing actual food.

I distracted myself further by playing on the internet and looking for things to buy. One of the hobbies that Archer and I shared when we were together was urban/street art. One of our favourite artists is releasing a print on Thursday so I sent Archer a text to let him know. We had some banter back and forth, and just general chit-chat. It's amazing how normal and nice it is to chat to my friend. Letting go was really the best thing I could have done.

So now I have just had my dinner cocktail and am going to have a long, hot shower and an early night. This by far has been the most challenging cleanse day. Mostly because it all feels so normal and part of my routine now; the novelty factor has worn off and so my mind is looking for stimulation. Apparently my mind is also a jerk and can only think about food.

Foods I have fantasised about today:
- king prawn udon noodle soup
- salmon sushi
- chicken fajitas and pork tortas
- a cheeseburger the size of my head

L x

Mental state - obsessed with food
Physical state - relaxed

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