Saturday, 12 October 2013

Day 12: ghost busters

It was another glorious Sydney day, and one that I appreciated even more knowing that I will be starting a new contract next week. I found out yesterday afternoon that I got the job. This is a big role, for a big company and I feel almost in awe of what I'm about to begin. This is a new beginning, where no one will know me as one half of L and Archer, no one will know about the break up and the sadness. Like my home, this job belongs just to me.

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted in body and mind. I think yesterday really took it out of me. Before finding out about my new job, I met Archer for brunch to sort out paying back his half of the bond and as a goodbye of sorts. We hadn't sat and talked like that since before he left. And it was good. In addition to being my partner, Archer was my best friend for 10 years. We have known each other for 20 years so I feel like there are two Archers - my partner and my friend. Throughout these 3 months, I have missed my friend the most, which I think speaks volumes.

Because I decided to let go of my hurt and anger and my search for answers, I got to see my friend again yesterday. As we chatted about our new lives, I felt the weight and poison of our break up shifting inside me and floating away. And then the happiness came pouring in to fill the void. L and Archer the couple have been put to rest. Their ghosts won't haunt me anymore.

So I have embraced the exhaustion today, I am taking stock and reflecting on how far I have come, and how much I have to be grateful for. But spending the day with strong, beautiful women who came together to raise funds for breast cancer has given me energy. In fact, I have to run - they're calling me now :)

L x

Mental state - exhausted
Physical state - exhausted

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