Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Bbbbrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnssss

I am obsessed. Totally and utterly obsessed. By zombies.

And by obsessed, I mean watching, playing and reading anything to do with the subject matter. Currently my favourite TV show is 'The Walking Dead'. My favourite computer game is 'Left 4 Dead 2' and my favourite iPhone game is 'Plants vs Zombies'. My appetite was showing no signs of abating either - I wanted more, more, more!

Until the other night. After watching three episodes of 'The Walking Dead' back-to-back, I went to bed and indulged in one of my favourite fantasies - imagining how much of a bad-ass, zombie-slaying hottie I would be if there ever was a zombie apocalypse (think Alice, from the Resident Evil franchise). Where would I go to flee the hungry horde? And who else would be in my rag-tag group of survivors? I also wondered whether the zombie virus would affect animals as well as humans, and if so, would I have the strength to kill one of my cats if they were attempting to eat my face (the answer was a resounding "geez, I hope so").

funny pictures of cats with captionsBeing prepared for situations by thinking through all possible outcomes usually makes me feel better, but this line of thought was having the opposite effect. Suddenly I was starting to feel slightly panicked and paranoid. What were the odds that an actual zombie apocalypse could occur? Could it be a biological weapon that escaped the lab? Does this virus already exist? And if so, would zombies be super fast and strong like in '28 Days Later', or would they be mindless flesh bags that had no cognitive ability, only the instinct to feed and survive?

I was worried because I was pretty sure I could survive against the latter, but not the former. So I did the only thing I could do. I Googled 'what are the odds of there being a zombie apocalypse?', and through the fog of panic I found this shining light of reason on Cracked.com: 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

Sad but true, I slept soundly that night, safe in the knowledge that as long as I could survive the initial outbreak, and bunker down somewhere safe for a few weeks, that I could indeed live a long and full post-apocalyptic life.

As such, my love for all things zombies has now returned. It is also worth noting that when I relayed this entire situation to The Boyfriend the following morning, he looked straight at me for a good ten seconds before commenting "you are a weirdo".

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